A dear friend sent me a link to a Ted Talk. He had good timing, since I was/am in a depressed mental state.
Please give the video a watch. The first story that she told was inspiring. The other topics that she mentioned that hit home were "passion" and "purpose." Every few years, I go through a period where I am just unhappy with myself (more than usual.) I feel that I don't have a purpose and haven't found my passion or what I'm really good at. I feel useless. I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. And I'm in that state right now. A little bit worse this this time due to extenuating circumstances which I will not address - not to the point of this post.
Elizabeth Gilbert wanted to replace "passion" and "purpose" with, in her words, a gentler word: curiosity.
Too Crowded
In my opinion, there are just too many people in this world for us all to have a "purpose." Imagine a Norman Rockwell town. There's a mechanic who takes care of everyone's cars. The Milkman delivers fresh milk to everyone. Hmm, probably too romantic. Going back further, the blacksmith, the farmer, the tanner, the weaver, the cooper, etc. There were times when all professions were important to the community. A loss of one person would be felt throughout the town or village.
If I were to go missing today, I would only have an effect on my immediate family. Otherwise, the community wouldn't even know that I was gone. My job is non-essential in regards to the good of humanity. I don't see that changing in my life. Just a fact.
Curiosity
That greatly appeals to me and fits with what I have done throughout my life with success. I have had minor successes in my life from curiosity. I have learned new things that helped me in my various jobs by just exploring because I was curious. I've learned skills simply because I wanted to know how to do something.
I shouldn't worry about finding "my passion" any more. And I should forget about a larger "purpose." I do have a minor purpose. I use "minor" in that it doesn't go beyond my family. My greatest purpose right now is to ensure that my daughter is provided for, taking care of her physical and mental needs.
For my free time, I should explore my curiosity, and let it lead me wherever it goes.
- Archery - make a range, and practice more.
- Net Weaving - learn how to weave a net. I made a needle and need to figure out how to knot it properly.
- Basket Weaving? - can stiltgrass be used for this?
- Constellations - relearn some basic constellations. I am outside in the dark in the morning and night, and have enjoyed looking up at the night sky. I would like to learn some basic navigation techniques based on stars, too.
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