Yesterday was not a good day. Another uncomfortable fight with the spouse.
I went to bed and formulated a plan to better myself. I smiled as I lay there and was... happy.
I woke up this morning and did start putting some of the plan in action. And I just plunged into darkness. Depression and hopelessness sprung upon me. I was running scenarios through my head of how to kill myself.
I posted a message on an online community to ask for help. Not the same as therapy, but talking about it does help. And I hope that someone can respond to help give me reasons to help me see that ending my life is not a good answer.
I still will try to implement my plan. I will still put one foot in front of the other. I still feel the weight of this life and I hate it.
No comments:
Post a Comment